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Finding my “thing”

After 6 years of being a SAHM, I think I have finally found what makes me tick (outside of my family, of course).  Before becoming a mommy, I imagined what being a SAHM would be?.. days filled with homemade bread, crafts, trips to the zoo, my perfectly behaved child sitting at the table coloring a masterpiece?.. enter REALITY!

After M2 was born, I spent the next three years dealing with it ALL!  I don?t mean any disrespect to my hubby, but he was never available to me.  He worked long hours, not even normal ?long hours??. Like insane, crazy person hours.  I did everything!

Our lives have drastically changed since then?. M2 eventually started preschool, which in turn gave me a little more time, hence a little more sanity.  And then?.. we added a new addition?. Our sweet little R2.  He is such a blessing, such a sweet baby, full of kisses and hugs and smiles.  However, with two kids comes a whole new set of issues.  I knew that two kids wouldn?t be a cake walk, I totally got it?. Or at least I thought I got it?.. NOPE!  I had absolutely no idea how difficult it would be.  I have had more breakdowns and crying fits in the past year than ever before in my life.  There?s always two of them?. And one of me!  My  husband is so much more hands on now than he ever was when we only had one.  He sees that I need help, and jumps in, no questions asked.  He changes diapers (if he MUST), he feeds, he plays, he kisses boo boos, reads bedtime stories?. The list goes on and on.  But I still have both kids alone the majority of the time.  And its hard!

M2 is five now and is in kindergarten.  She is a beautiful little girl, she literally lights up a room.  She is so smart and is a fantastic little artist.  But she also has a diva attitude and honestly thinks she is 15?.. She really told a lady in the grocery store that she was 15!  I?m not joking!  She is super into clothes, accessories, shoes?. Anything girly!  And she will argue with you for hours about what she is or isn?t wearing!  It is a constant battle, but as my husband says, I created the monster!

R2 is 16 months old now?. He has one dimple and I kiss it about fifty times a day.  He is a momma?s boy, for sure.  But he also loves his daddy and sissy so much!  Now that he is old enough to have an ?opinion? we are dealing with tantrums?. But normally if I throw a couple of cheerios at him he calms down pretty quick.  He keeps me on my toes as we are entering the climbing phase!

I feel like I give so much of myself all the time, no real ?me? time.  Some days taking a shower seems like a huge accomplishment and being alone in the shower is like a gift from God himself.  I have so many moments where I feel like I don?t contribute?. I know I do the mommy stuff, and the cleaning stuff, and the cooking stuff?. But I still feel like by not providing any financial support for my family, I?m not contributing enough.  It has caused a lot of issues within myself, which in turn has caused issue in our marriage.  It can make me feel inferior occasionally, and I don?t like feeling that way.

So with all of this being said?. Yeah I?m rambling?. I?ll get to the point?

I have started doing local craft shows and I LOVE IT!  I mean seriously, love it!  I have always crafted, made things, been creative, etc.  I have made so many things over the years, and I have always really enjoyed it!  I have decided to do something for myself.  Something that I like, can make a little (hopefully a lot) of money at, something that just plain makes me happy.  I am happy when I create, when I make, when I think, when I plan, when I have other things to focus on besides my family.  Might sound horrible to some, but I had to find my truth.  I am not happy when my life completely revolves around my husband and kids.  I need an outlet.  I need an escape?.. and I think I?ve found it!

 

I have done four craft shows now?.and it?s been a blast!  I?ve met a ton of fun, great people?..I?ve learned a boat load already and can?t wait to learn more.

My loving husband built me this website.  There is still a lot to be done on it, which I will have to slowly work on because my job as a ?mommy? is never finished.  There is always laundry or dishes, or sweeping?. You know the drill?.. but I am learning that it is important to take a little time for me.  My brain needs to be creative, I have always found it so relaxing.

I will have some of the wonderful things I make for sale on here, so check that out!

I am hoping to blog every couple of days with plans to post recipes, crafts, cleaning tips?.the good, the bad and the ugly?. You have been warned!  Life is not perfect, so let?s not act like it is.

 

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